BUILDING CONFIDENCE IN YOUR STUDENTS

Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #32 – December 12, 2009

The dictionary defines confidence as: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities, the quality or state of being certain. How does one gain confidence? Let’s take a look at something you personally feel very confident about being able to do. For example, if you are a good, accurate typist, you know with certainty you can complete typing a full-page document fairly quickly with a minimal amount of correction needed. How did you acquire this confidence? Through practice, practice and more practice.

Confidence and mastery are inextricably linked in a continuous cycle, each helping the other to grow. Once mastery is gained, confidence is its shining glory. Unfortunately, many kids give up when tasks become challenging because they lack self-esteem and need encouragement from another (like you, their teacher, parent or coach). This is the missing ingredient necessary for these children to tackle new learning enthusiastically.

Without self-assurance, kids won’t reach their full capability. Their failure to achieve goals will reinforce their low sense of self worth, and a different kind of cycle will occur. How can you keep this from happening to the kids you work with and care about? Here are some suggestions that have shown great success:

Provide Opportunities
Get kids involved in tasks that are slightly above their current level of functioning. Anything less is too easy, anything too steep may be frustrating. Helping kids to stretch a bit gives them experience accompanied by appropriate challenges. Varying the types of tasks given, helps keep interest levels high.

Model Positive Thinking
Exhibiting a negative attitude can easily rub off on kids. They look to us for examples of how to respond to challenging situations. Let them observe you eagerly tackling challenges while verbalizing self-assurance. For example, if you opened up a kit containing a new teaching tool to put on display in the classroom, and you were having a difficult time assembling it; instead of getting upset, making nasty comments (or worse, yelling obscenities), calmly talk through the situation, making positive remarks, take it one step at a time and work the problem into a solution.

Model Problem Solving
Many kids are often uncomfortable when things don’t come easy because they don’t have the skills to manage roadblocks. If a pattern of giving up when things get tough has been established, help them work through it by changing their thought processes. Help normalize the process of challenge: when you hit obstacles, explain how you think your way around them. When you feel frustrated, verbalize your feelings, but keep going in spite of it. When you need help, ask for it. Kids often have trouble with this skill, too.

Don’t Rescue
Avoid the urge to jump in at the first sign of frustration. Kids need to develop the ability to work through this often difficult emotion. It’s a balancing act: you don’t want frustration levels to get too high, either. You might need to restructure the task so that mastery is possible. Or better yet, have kids verbalize ideas about what would help make the situation less frustrating.

Use Praise Properly
Don’t waste praise on simple or effortless tasks. Kids can see through the smoke. Plus, praising them for something that didn’t require any work on their part sends them the message that you don’t think they’re capable of more. It can lead to frustration or playing the helpless victim. Instead, make your words count. Save your accolades for accomplishments that require true effort, and thus help kids reinforce their own successes.

Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.
Albert Einstein