Dr. Wendy Ghiora-Posting #73-November 27, 2010
As he approached his car, Jim spotted something lodged under his windshield wiper. It was a piece of paper but, as he got closer, he noticed a bill was attached to it. When he arrived at his car, it was clear; it was a note, written in a child’s handwriting, with a dollar bill on top of it. The note said, "This is a dollar I earned doing my chores today. I wanted to do something special with it, so I am giving it to you. God Bless You. I am seven years old and my name is Josh."
Jim’s car was parked in front of the Waukesha, Wisconsin YMCA. What was he going to do with that note and bill? He could just slip the dollar into his pocket and toss the note. Many would have done that. But the thought never crossed Jim’s mind. Instead, he was greatly moved by the words scrawled in the seven-year-old child’s handwriting. He must have thought it was some kind of sign or at least a good omen. Whatever the case, he was certain this was not an accident. He knew he had to do something. But what? He figured, if a little kid could make him feel that way with one selfless act, why not add to it?
So, instead of getting into his car, Jim walked the note and the dollar into the YMCA and approached the front desk. He added $10 of his own as a donation. He then suggested to the person in charge, this child’s kind gesture be used as a model for a program they were running called, “Strong Kids Campaign.” This effort enables children who cannot afford to participate in YMCA activities to do so without cost.
Somehow the word got out, and within days, more and more people started contributing to the fund. Good feelings began to spread, turning the child's original endeavor into a snowball effect. Before long, over $3,000 had been raised for the YMCA fund.
What if we, somehow, were able to communicate to children and adults that the charitable act of one person can make a huge difference? In this world where so many people have become cynical, it’s nice to know, sometimes good things, like Acts of Kindness, can be contagious.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
CREATING A SUCCESSFUL PARENT TEACHER CONFERENCE
Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #72 – November 20, 2010
As a parent and a teacher, I can fully appreciate both sides of the Parent-Teacher Conference. As a parent I was anxiously interested in the progress my children were making in school and wanted to know, from the teacher, how I could help my child at home. As a teacher, I can see things from the parents' perspective and treat the meeting much like I would a “family” meeting, where all members of the team are on the same page: wanting to create a successful and enjoyable learning experience for the child. Following are some recommendations, based on my experience, to help make the parent-teacher conference accomplish just that.
The Greeting
It is a good idea to greet parents at the door, lead them to the table where you’d like them to sit and then sit right next to them (rather than across from them). Thank them sincerely for showing such a keen interest in their child’s education.
Getting Comfortable
Start with some positive remarks about the child. Identify a strength and ask the parent to embellish upon one also. This will make the parent feel more at ease and sense that you really are there to work together.
The Appraisal
Continue by discussing the child’s performance in each subject, using assessment data and student work to show the parent both strengths and weaknesses their child is demonstrating. Always try to end with some of the student’s strengths both academically and socially.
Homework for Parents
At this point, most parents want to know what they can do to help their child improve in the areas of difficulty. Have prepared lists on hand of helpful websites with practical exercises and specific activities for parents to do with their children in each area of study. If necessary, present references for tutors (both private and free).
Q and A
At the end of the conference, answer any questions the parent has. Close by reviewing the important information covered. For example: “It was a pleasure meeting with you today. I really enjoy having Jeremy in my class. You are going to work with him nightly on his math homework and contact a tutor if you feel one is needed. His goal for this quarter is to raise his math grade. I am confident we can accomplish this as a team. “
Follow Up
Keep the communication open with all parents throughout the year. Let them know you are there working with their child at school and you are counting on their help at home to give the child whatever it takes to make him a confident, successful student.
"Teacher : The child's third parent." - Hyman Berston
As a parent and a teacher, I can fully appreciate both sides of the Parent-Teacher Conference. As a parent I was anxiously interested in the progress my children were making in school and wanted to know, from the teacher, how I could help my child at home. As a teacher, I can see things from the parents' perspective and treat the meeting much like I would a “family” meeting, where all members of the team are on the same page: wanting to create a successful and enjoyable learning experience for the child. Following are some recommendations, based on my experience, to help make the parent-teacher conference accomplish just that.
The Greeting
It is a good idea to greet parents at the door, lead them to the table where you’d like them to sit and then sit right next to them (rather than across from them). Thank them sincerely for showing such a keen interest in their child’s education.
Getting Comfortable
Start with some positive remarks about the child. Identify a strength and ask the parent to embellish upon one also. This will make the parent feel more at ease and sense that you really are there to work together.
The Appraisal
Continue by discussing the child’s performance in each subject, using assessment data and student work to show the parent both strengths and weaknesses their child is demonstrating. Always try to end with some of the student’s strengths both academically and socially.
Homework for Parents
At this point, most parents want to know what they can do to help their child improve in the areas of difficulty. Have prepared lists on hand of helpful websites with practical exercises and specific activities for parents to do with their children in each area of study. If necessary, present references for tutors (both private and free).
Q and A
At the end of the conference, answer any questions the parent has. Close by reviewing the important information covered. For example: “It was a pleasure meeting with you today. I really enjoy having Jeremy in my class. You are going to work with him nightly on his math homework and contact a tutor if you feel one is needed. His goal for this quarter is to raise his math grade. I am confident we can accomplish this as a team. “
Follow Up
Keep the communication open with all parents throughout the year. Let them know you are there working with their child at school and you are counting on their help at home to give the child whatever it takes to make him a confident, successful student.
"Teacher : The child's third parent." - Hyman Berston
Saturday, November 13, 2010
WHICH TYPE ARE YOU?
Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #71- November 13, 2010
It’s that time of year. Many parents are attending their first parent-teacher conference. I had originally planned to write about Parent-Teacher Conferences this week, however, while researching I came upon an interesting website. This website includes many helpful tips for both parents and teachers.
One of the entries under the subject of Parent-Teacher Conferences that caught my eye was a chart, presumably describing three parent “types.” The chart describes the three parent types and then goes on to give ten examples of how each type handles different situations with their child.
Here are the three types with the ten given examples, along with a few of my thoughts:
Over Protective:
This parent hovers over their children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live.
1. Provides messages of weakness and low personal worth.
2. Makes excuses for their child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities. The child can do no wrong. It's always the teacher's (or somebody else’s) fault.
3. “Takes on” the responsibilities of their child.
4. Protects the child from any possible negative feelings.
5. Makes virtually all decisions for the child.
6. Provides no structure, but complains, “After all I’ve done for you…”
7. Whines and uses guilt: “When will you ever learn. I always have to clean up after you.”
8. Gripes about having an irresponsible child who causes “me” more work and responsibility.
9. Uses lots of words and actions that rescue or indicate that the child is incapable.
10. Protects the child from natural consequences, i.e. if you are mean to someone, they will probably be mean back to you.
Many of us have seen this “hovering” parent, who undoubtedly feels she is doing the right thing by making sure her child never has to experience anything negative while she’s there to surround the child with a buffer of protection. Has this parent thought of how the child will learn to deal with obstacles and make decisions on his own, when Mom or Dad isn’t around? Is this parent really doing their child a service or actually making their child more vulnerable and less self-sufficient?
The Dictator:
This parent commands and directs the lives of their children.
1. Provides messages of low personal worth and resistance.
2. Makes lots of demands and has lots of expectations about responsibility.
3. Tells their children how they should handle responsibility.
4. Tells their child how they should feel.
5. Deals out absolutes: “This is the decision you should make!”
6. Demands that jobs be done now.
7. Issues orders and threats. “You get that room cleaned up or else…”
8. Takes over ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem.
9. Uses lots of harsh words and very few actions.
10. Uses punishment; pain and humiliation serve as the teacher.
This is the parent we sometimes see and then understand why people living in a dictatorship are willing to do practically anything to escape. This parent doesn’t understand that by taking away the child’s willingness to do “what is expected,” he is taking away the child’s interest as well. When this happens, the child’s spirit is broken and the parent may have an obedient slave, but he will not have a child that respects his parent. Only when the child understands why, certain behaviors and decisions are best, is he able to make good decisions on his own.
The Guide:
This can also be called, "The Love and Logic Parent." The Love and Logic parent provides guidance for their children.
1. Provides and communicates messages of personal worth and strength to their children.
2. Very seldom is required to mention responsibilities.
3. Demonstrates by example how to take care of self and be responsible.
4. Shares personal feelings about their own performance and responsibilities.
5. Provides and helps their children explore alternatives and then allows them to make their own decisions.
6. Provides “time frames” in which child may complete responsibilities.
7. Models (and can also verbalize)doing a good job, finishing, cleaning up, feeling good about it.
8. Often asks self, “Who owns the problem?” Helps the child explore solutions to the problem.
9. Uses lots of actions, but few words. (“Actions speak louder than words.”)
10. Allows child to experience life’s natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher.
This is the type of parent that understands the importance of talking the talk and walking the walk. Through verbal encouragement and living examples of being responsible and making good decisions, the child learns. The child feels loved and wants to create the same great results he sees his parents enjoying. The child feels empowered and trusted to make his own decisions and has the opportunity to blossom into a productive member of society.
In most cases, a parent may possess qualities from each of the three examples given. However, one of these types usually tends to be dominant. Which type do you think is the most beneficial to the child?
- - - - - - -
The material for the Three Types of Parents is taken directly from the website: loveandlogic.com. This is the website mentioned that also provides numerous tips for parents and teachers.
It’s that time of year. Many parents are attending their first parent-teacher conference. I had originally planned to write about Parent-Teacher Conferences this week, however, while researching I came upon an interesting website. This website includes many helpful tips for both parents and teachers.
One of the entries under the subject of Parent-Teacher Conferences that caught my eye was a chart, presumably describing three parent “types.” The chart describes the three parent types and then goes on to give ten examples of how each type handles different situations with their child.
Here are the three types with the ten given examples, along with a few of my thoughts:
Over Protective:
This parent hovers over their children and rescues them from the hostile world in which they live.
1. Provides messages of weakness and low personal worth.
2. Makes excuses for their child, but complains about mishandled responsibilities. The child can do no wrong. It's always the teacher's (or somebody else’s) fault.
3. “Takes on” the responsibilities of their child.
4. Protects the child from any possible negative feelings.
5. Makes virtually all decisions for the child.
6. Provides no structure, but complains, “After all I’ve done for you…”
7. Whines and uses guilt: “When will you ever learn. I always have to clean up after you.”
8. Gripes about having an irresponsible child who causes “me” more work and responsibility.
9. Uses lots of words and actions that rescue or indicate that the child is incapable.
10. Protects the child from natural consequences, i.e. if you are mean to someone, they will probably be mean back to you.
Many of us have seen this “hovering” parent, who undoubtedly feels she is doing the right thing by making sure her child never has to experience anything negative while she’s there to surround the child with a buffer of protection. Has this parent thought of how the child will learn to deal with obstacles and make decisions on his own, when Mom or Dad isn’t around? Is this parent really doing their child a service or actually making their child more vulnerable and less self-sufficient?
The Dictator:
This parent commands and directs the lives of their children.
1. Provides messages of low personal worth and resistance.
2. Makes lots of demands and has lots of expectations about responsibility.
3. Tells their children how they should handle responsibility.
4. Tells their child how they should feel.
5. Deals out absolutes: “This is the decision you should make!”
6. Demands that jobs be done now.
7. Issues orders and threats. “You get that room cleaned up or else…”
8. Takes over ownership of the problem using threats and orders to solve the problem.
9. Uses lots of harsh words and very few actions.
10. Uses punishment; pain and humiliation serve as the teacher.
This is the parent we sometimes see and then understand why people living in a dictatorship are willing to do practically anything to escape. This parent doesn’t understand that by taking away the child’s willingness to do “what is expected,” he is taking away the child’s interest as well. When this happens, the child’s spirit is broken and the parent may have an obedient slave, but he will not have a child that respects his parent. Only when the child understands why, certain behaviors and decisions are best, is he able to make good decisions on his own.
The Guide:
This can also be called, "The Love and Logic Parent." The Love and Logic parent provides guidance for their children.
1. Provides and communicates messages of personal worth and strength to their children.
2. Very seldom is required to mention responsibilities.
3. Demonstrates by example how to take care of self and be responsible.
4. Shares personal feelings about their own performance and responsibilities.
5. Provides and helps their children explore alternatives and then allows them to make their own decisions.
6. Provides “time frames” in which child may complete responsibilities.
7. Models (and can also verbalize)doing a good job, finishing, cleaning up, feeling good about it.
8. Often asks self, “Who owns the problem?” Helps the child explore solutions to the problem.
9. Uses lots of actions, but few words. (“Actions speak louder than words.”)
10. Allows child to experience life’s natural consequences and allows them to serve as the teacher.
This is the type of parent that understands the importance of talking the talk and walking the walk. Through verbal encouragement and living examples of being responsible and making good decisions, the child learns. The child feels loved and wants to create the same great results he sees his parents enjoying. The child feels empowered and trusted to make his own decisions and has the opportunity to blossom into a productive member of society.
In most cases, a parent may possess qualities from each of the three examples given. However, one of these types usually tends to be dominant. Which type do you think is the most beneficial to the child?
- - - - - - -
The material for the Three Types of Parents is taken directly from the website: loveandlogic.com. This is the website mentioned that also provides numerous tips for parents and teachers.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #70 - November 6, 2010
When I read this true account of the Thanksgiving Story, it gave the holiday a whole new meaning for me. Albeit, I will personally still consider the holiday as a day of thanks, I thought it only right to share this new knowledge I have encountered with you:
The Real Story Behind Thanksgiving
Paul Schmidt
Did you know that the first [Plymouth Colony Pilgrim's] Thanksgiving was a celebration of the triumph of private property and individual initiative?
William Bradford was the governor of the original Pilgrim colony, founded at Plymouth in 1621. The colony was first organized on a communal basis, as their financiers required. Land was owned in common. The Pilgrims farmed communally, too, following the "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" precept.
The results were disastrous. Communism didn't work any better 400 years ago than it does today. By 1623, the colony had suffered serious losses. Starvation was imminent.
Bradford realized that the communal system encouraged and rewarded waste and laziness and inefficiency, and destroyed individual initiative. Desperate, he abolished it. He distributed private plots of land among the surviving Pilgrims, encouraging them to plant early and farm as individuals, not collectively.
The results: a bountiful early harvest that saved the colonies. After the harvest, the Pilgrims celebrated with a day of Thanksgiving -- on August 9th.
Unfortunately, William Bradford's diaries -- in which he recorded the failure of the collectivist system and the triumph of private enterprise -- were lost for many years. When Thanksgiving was later made a national holiday, the present November date was chosen. And the lesson the Pilgrims so painfully learned was, alas, not made a part of the holiday.
Happily, Bradford's diaries were later rediscovered. They're available today in paperback. They tell the real story of Thanksgiving -- how private property and individual initiative saved the Pilgrims.
- - - - -
What a great true story to share with your own children or with your students at this time of the year! In a classroom setting, this story would lend itself well to a group discussion about the message of this hard, true lesson learned. It would also be interesting to have partners or small groups of students come up with ways they can apply the knowledge learned here to their own lives and/or to the lives of others.
It sounds like the story is saying, in most cases, when individuals are responsible for putting their own bread on the table, and know they can personally reap the benefits of their own effort (large or small); they step up, and do so with a lot more resolve and enthusiasm.
Much is being said today about the direction our country is headed. When you look at this example with students, they can make up their own minds about government intervention vs. free enterprize.
The purpose of history is to avoid repeating the same mistakes and to emulate great successes of the past. Has this story of our forefathers suggested any possible applications to you?
When I read this true account of the Thanksgiving Story, it gave the holiday a whole new meaning for me. Albeit, I will personally still consider the holiday as a day of thanks, I thought it only right to share this new knowledge I have encountered with you:
The Real Story Behind Thanksgiving
Paul Schmidt
Did you know that the first [Plymouth Colony Pilgrim's] Thanksgiving was a celebration of the triumph of private property and individual initiative?
William Bradford was the governor of the original Pilgrim colony, founded at Plymouth in 1621. The colony was first organized on a communal basis, as their financiers required. Land was owned in common. The Pilgrims farmed communally, too, following the "from each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs" precept.
The results were disastrous. Communism didn't work any better 400 years ago than it does today. By 1623, the colony had suffered serious losses. Starvation was imminent.
Bradford realized that the communal system encouraged and rewarded waste and laziness and inefficiency, and destroyed individual initiative. Desperate, he abolished it. He distributed private plots of land among the surviving Pilgrims, encouraging them to plant early and farm as individuals, not collectively.
The results: a bountiful early harvest that saved the colonies. After the harvest, the Pilgrims celebrated with a day of Thanksgiving -- on August 9th.
Unfortunately, William Bradford's diaries -- in which he recorded the failure of the collectivist system and the triumph of private enterprise -- were lost for many years. When Thanksgiving was later made a national holiday, the present November date was chosen. And the lesson the Pilgrims so painfully learned was, alas, not made a part of the holiday.
Happily, Bradford's diaries were later rediscovered. They're available today in paperback. They tell the real story of Thanksgiving -- how private property and individual initiative saved the Pilgrims.
- - - - -
What a great true story to share with your own children or with your students at this time of the year! In a classroom setting, this story would lend itself well to a group discussion about the message of this hard, true lesson learned. It would also be interesting to have partners or small groups of students come up with ways they can apply the knowledge learned here to their own lives and/or to the lives of others.
It sounds like the story is saying, in most cases, when individuals are responsible for putting their own bread on the table, and know they can personally reap the benefits of their own effort (large or small); they step up, and do so with a lot more resolve and enthusiasm.
Much is being said today about the direction our country is headed. When you look at this example with students, they can make up their own minds about government intervention vs. free enterprize.
The purpose of history is to avoid repeating the same mistakes and to emulate great successes of the past. Has this story of our forefathers suggested any possible applications to you?
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