Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #81 – January 29, 2011
Should we bother to teach our children good manners? Well, let me ask you this; have you ever had a child come up to you and say, “Your hair really looks stupid” or point at someone when shopping in the mall and yell, “Look at that fat man”?
As an adult, would you think of these two scenarios:
A man comes up to you and says, “Hey lady, let me see your watch.”
A man comes up to you and says, “Excuse me, can you please tell me what time it is?”
Seeing Is Believing
A lot of the teaching of good manners comes from how you treat a child. Ordering a child what to say and how to act is not respectful. It is not the kind of manners you want her to learn. Thanking her when she is being helpful or being kind and generous towards others, should really be the heart of your teaching tools. Children really do assimilate what they see, hear and experience around them.
The key words used by people with good manners are still “please” and “thank you”. Encourage your children to greet their friends politely, to say "thank you for coming" when their guests depart, and "thanks for having me over" when they leave a playmate's house. If you model using these words consistently, your children will get the idea and be well on their way to practicing good manners wherever they go.
The Golden Rule
Between the ages of 2 and 5, your preschool child is most receptive to learning the rules of polite conduct. "When children are very young," says Linda Altman, a Georgia-based counselor and educator, "they want to do anything you ask. Grab the opportunity to teach appropriate behavior."
The key from the beginning, according to Marianne Drew-Pennington, executive director of West Side Family Place, a Vancouver parent-resource center, is to treat your children with the same respect you expect from them. "Children learn primarily by example," she says. "You can't be rude to them and then expect them to be polite to other people."
Take “in the moment” opportunities to teach good manners. For example, when I saw Jason shove another student and shout, "Move!" After the incident, I asked Jason, "Could you have said that more politely?" The child thought for a moment and then said, "Move please?" Hmmm. "That's a little bit better, but how about saying 'excuse me?' "To which the child replied, "Why should I say that? I didn't burp." "He honestly didn't know." "They can't know if you don't teach them."
Drew-Pennington advises us to take every opportunity to praise polite behavior. Comments like "It sounds so nice when you remember to say 'please' and 'thank you,' "or "I think it made Aunt Mary feel good when you told her you liked her present." Let your child know that his efforts make a real difference. With good role modeling and praise for appropriate behavior, your children will “learn” good manners as a natural matter of course.
Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room.
Jonathan Swift
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Are Pen Pals Passe'?
Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #80 - January 22, 2011
Anyone remember writing letters to Pen Pals? Once upon a time, in many cities and towns in this great nation, children got excited about writing letters and receiving correspondence back from children their own age. Many times the “Pen Pal” was from a different state or even a different country. The cool thing was we were all connected by a common language, English.
Due to the extent of the British Empire, countries all over the globe have English speaking inhabitants. And, get this, many of their children, who are not fluent in English, want to correspond with American children in order to improve their English language skills. By the same token, many of our children are interested in learning what kids of their age group do for fun in their countries.
Exchanging letters or emails with a pen pal can offer learning experiences about life in other parts of the country or around the world. Your child may be surprised that children of similar ages do things very differently in other places. If your child is lucky enough to have an international pen pal, a further learning experience about foreign customs, traditions, and even language is possible.
Having a pen pal can also teach them about different sports, hobbies, and other interests. It is a great learning experience to be able to share an interest with another person. Pen pals can ignite the imagination and encourage your child to try new things. Having a pen pal or two can open up a whole world of experiences and education for your child. Not only can it help with writing skills, it can also teach them about different parts of the country or the world, and how life is the same in some ways and different in others.
Parents and teachers, this is a win-win situation. It’s a way to get your children excited about reading and writing and actually enjoy doing it! Of course, you will need to take the proper precautions since this does take place on the Internet. Make sure your child doesn’t give out his or her home address to anyone without your approval.
There are a myriad of websites to help you start on this new adventure. Here’s one that offers a variety of websites for prospective email Pen Pals. Bon Voyage!
http://www.pcfl.net/channels/kidszone/penpals.htm
Anyone remember writing letters to Pen Pals? Once upon a time, in many cities and towns in this great nation, children got excited about writing letters and receiving correspondence back from children their own age. Many times the “Pen Pal” was from a different state or even a different country. The cool thing was we were all connected by a common language, English.
Due to the extent of the British Empire, countries all over the globe have English speaking inhabitants. And, get this, many of their children, who are not fluent in English, want to correspond with American children in order to improve their English language skills. By the same token, many of our children are interested in learning what kids of their age group do for fun in their countries.
Exchanging letters or emails with a pen pal can offer learning experiences about life in other parts of the country or around the world. Your child may be surprised that children of similar ages do things very differently in other places. If your child is lucky enough to have an international pen pal, a further learning experience about foreign customs, traditions, and even language is possible.
Having a pen pal can also teach them about different sports, hobbies, and other interests. It is a great learning experience to be able to share an interest with another person. Pen pals can ignite the imagination and encourage your child to try new things. Having a pen pal or two can open up a whole world of experiences and education for your child. Not only can it help with writing skills, it can also teach them about different parts of the country or the world, and how life is the same in some ways and different in others.
Parents and teachers, this is a win-win situation. It’s a way to get your children excited about reading and writing and actually enjoy doing it! Of course, you will need to take the proper precautions since this does take place on the Internet. Make sure your child doesn’t give out his or her home address to anyone without your approval.
There are a myriad of websites to help you start on this new adventure. Here’s one that offers a variety of websites for prospective email Pen Pals. Bon Voyage!
http://www.pcfl.net/channels/kidszone/penpals.htm
Saturday, January 15, 2011
A Closer Look At ADHD
Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #79 – January 15, 2011
Three-quarters of ADHD Diagnoses are Wrong
Before you immediately accept a diagnosis of ADHD given your child, consider this. ABC News Online (Australia) reports that diagnoses labeling children as AD/HD are wrong up to 75% of the time. This discrepancy was discovered after careful examination of labeled students by a team specializing in ADHD. New studies published in the Journal of Health Economics suggest that nearly 1 million children are mistakenly diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Todd Elder, Michigan State University Economist, would be in support of these findings. He suggests that about 900,000 children diagnosed with ADHD in the United States may not have the disorder at all. Often the suggestion of ADHD comes first from a school or daycare provider, and their completely subjective feedback can be instrumental in whether a pediatrician ultimately makes the diagnosis of ADHD and subsequently prescribes stimulant medication. ADHD is being treated as a “disease.”
Is ADHD Really a Disease “On The Rise?”
The article states, although 5% to 10% of American children are diagnosed with ADHD, other countries are not as quick to do so. For example, in England, well under one percent of children carry the diagnosis. In countries like France and Italy, many if not most doctors do not believe the condition exists. Are American children more hyperactive and distracted than those in other countries or is there something else going on?
Children are active, imaginative, and sometimes hyper individuals by nature. They are supposed to move around continuously, jump on things, often not listen to what they are told to do, and go off in their own world and daydream a little. If they weren’t doing those things then they wouldn’t be acting like normal kids. So why then, are children who are acting in normal child-like fashion, being quickly diagnosed as having ADHD? Why are doctors telling parents that to fight childhood obesity we need to keep our kids steadily active, and then almost in the same breath telling parents that something is wrong with their child if they happen to be overly active? What makes society want to put a label on children who are simply just being kids?
Follow The Money
The production of the stimulant medications Adderall and Dexedrine (commonly prescribed drugs for ADHD), has increased by 4,516% between 1993 and 2003. At the same time, the production of Ritalin has also increased by 375%. Drug companies spend 20 to 30 thousand dollars per American physician on things like junkets, free meals, trips, trainings, free samples, and cash rewards to high-prescribers. It is almost impossible to find a researcher who would advocate the use of stimulants for ADHD that is not on the drug company’s payroll.
In Understanding ADHD and the Creative Child, Colette Bouchez reports that ADHD students and gifted, creative children frequently share some traits. People who don’t understand intelligence and giftedness and creativity think that if you’re smart you ought to know how to behave, and if you don’t behave you’re not smart – or you have something wrong with you – but “that couldn’t be further from the truth,” says Minnesota child psychologist Deborah Ruff, PhD, National Gifted Children’s Coordinator for American Mensa and author of the book, Losing Our Minds: Gifted Children Left Behind. In addition, it is understandable that a gifted or intelligent child would be the one to finish the assignment early and then get in trouble out of boredom. Children probably are over diagnosed. If we look at the diagnosis cycle, we find that parents commonly get their first recommendation from their child’s teacher. The parent then takes the child to the family practitioner or their pediatrician where diagnosis is made in short order – twenty minutes of interview time. Pediatricians and family practitioners are typically not specialists in ADHD, but they wield the authority to prescribe medication. As for ADHD being a real “disease,” according to Dr. Ron Receveur, ADHD expert, ADHD remains merely a clinical diagnosis, meaning that there is no scientific test for ADHD only an interpretation of symptoms.
What’s A Parent To Do?
Parents should be slow to make a decisionon whether to medicate their child. Until recently, the most important question concerning Ritalin or amphetamine administration has not been asked. Do these drugs make a difference in the long-term outcome? A comprehensive examination of this subject carried out at the Montreal Children's Hospital discovered a startling fact. At the end of five years, hyperactive children who received Ritalin did not differ significantly from children who had not received. Although it appeared that hyperactive kids treated with Ritalin were initially more manageable, the degree of improvement and emotional adjustment was essentially identical at the end of five years to that seen in a group of kids who had received no medication at all.
There are side effects to the ADHD medications. If you’re still undecided about medicating your child, here are the side effects of the most commonly used medications (as listed in the Physician’s Desk Reference):
Common Side Effects
•Addiction
•Nervousness including agitation, anxiety and irritability
•Trouble sleeping (insomnia)
•Decreased appetite
•Headache
•Stomach ache
•Nausea
•Dizziness
•Heart palpitations
Other Serious Side Effects Include
-Slowing of growth (height and weight) in children
-Slowing of growth of body organs (including the brain)
-Seizures, mainly in patients with a history of seizures
-Eyesight changes or blurred vision
How Can I Help My Child Focus Better in School?
If you have an active child that has a challenge keeping focused during school, here are some suggestions that have proven to be of help. Research suggests that a good breakfast helps a child do better in school. For example, a 1998 study published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, showed that children who ate breakfast regularly had higher reading and math scores, lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hyperactivity, better school attendance, improved attention spans, and fewer behavior problems.
For children with ADHD, the menu matters, too. In a 1983 study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, researchers at George Washington University tested three breakfast types (high-carbohydrate, high-protein, and no breakfast at all) on 39 children with ADHD and 44 kids without the condition. For the hyperactive children, performance on several tests, including a test for attention, was significantly worse with the high-carbohydrate breakfast, as compared with the scores of the children who ate the high-protein breakfast.
As a former school principal, I can testify that eating a breakfast high in protein resulted in a major improvement in children who previously had problems focusing during class time. I tested this and had great results. Believe me, I know, as a working parent, it’s much easier to let your kids just grab a bowl of cereal. However, giving them anything they like that has protein, such as eggs, bacon, peanut butter, string cheese, etc. will help them immensely. Why risk harmful side effects, especially when the effectiveness of the drugs are suspect? Spending the extra time to give your child a nutritious breakfast can help prepare them mentally and physically for a successful day at school.
“A child in the crowd calls out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all and the cry is taken up by others. “
Three-quarters of ADHD Diagnoses are Wrong
Before you immediately accept a diagnosis of ADHD given your child, consider this. ABC News Online (Australia) reports that diagnoses labeling children as AD/HD are wrong up to 75% of the time. This discrepancy was discovered after careful examination of labeled students by a team specializing in ADHD. New studies published in the Journal of Health Economics suggest that nearly 1 million children are mistakenly diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Todd Elder, Michigan State University Economist, would be in support of these findings. He suggests that about 900,000 children diagnosed with ADHD in the United States may not have the disorder at all. Often the suggestion of ADHD comes first from a school or daycare provider, and their completely subjective feedback can be instrumental in whether a pediatrician ultimately makes the diagnosis of ADHD and subsequently prescribes stimulant medication. ADHD is being treated as a “disease.”
Is ADHD Really a Disease “On The Rise?”
The article states, although 5% to 10% of American children are diagnosed with ADHD, other countries are not as quick to do so. For example, in England, well under one percent of children carry the diagnosis. In countries like France and Italy, many if not most doctors do not believe the condition exists. Are American children more hyperactive and distracted than those in other countries or is there something else going on?
Children are active, imaginative, and sometimes hyper individuals by nature. They are supposed to move around continuously, jump on things, often not listen to what they are told to do, and go off in their own world and daydream a little. If they weren’t doing those things then they wouldn’t be acting like normal kids. So why then, are children who are acting in normal child-like fashion, being quickly diagnosed as having ADHD? Why are doctors telling parents that to fight childhood obesity we need to keep our kids steadily active, and then almost in the same breath telling parents that something is wrong with their child if they happen to be overly active? What makes society want to put a label on children who are simply just being kids?
Follow The Money
The production of the stimulant medications Adderall and Dexedrine (commonly prescribed drugs for ADHD), has increased by 4,516% between 1993 and 2003. At the same time, the production of Ritalin has also increased by 375%. Drug companies spend 20 to 30 thousand dollars per American physician on things like junkets, free meals, trips, trainings, free samples, and cash rewards to high-prescribers. It is almost impossible to find a researcher who would advocate the use of stimulants for ADHD that is not on the drug company’s payroll.
In Understanding ADHD and the Creative Child, Colette Bouchez reports that ADHD students and gifted, creative children frequently share some traits. People who don’t understand intelligence and giftedness and creativity think that if you’re smart you ought to know how to behave, and if you don’t behave you’re not smart – or you have something wrong with you – but “that couldn’t be further from the truth,” says Minnesota child psychologist Deborah Ruff, PhD, National Gifted Children’s Coordinator for American Mensa and author of the book, Losing Our Minds: Gifted Children Left Behind. In addition, it is understandable that a gifted or intelligent child would be the one to finish the assignment early and then get in trouble out of boredom. Children probably are over diagnosed. If we look at the diagnosis cycle, we find that parents commonly get their first recommendation from their child’s teacher. The parent then takes the child to the family practitioner or their pediatrician where diagnosis is made in short order – twenty minutes of interview time. Pediatricians and family practitioners are typically not specialists in ADHD, but they wield the authority to prescribe medication. As for ADHD being a real “disease,” according to Dr. Ron Receveur, ADHD expert, ADHD remains merely a clinical diagnosis, meaning that there is no scientific test for ADHD only an interpretation of symptoms.
What’s A Parent To Do?
Parents should be slow to make a decisionon whether to medicate their child. Until recently, the most important question concerning Ritalin or amphetamine administration has not been asked. Do these drugs make a difference in the long-term outcome? A comprehensive examination of this subject carried out at the Montreal Children's Hospital discovered a startling fact. At the end of five years, hyperactive children who received Ritalin did not differ significantly from children who had not received. Although it appeared that hyperactive kids treated with Ritalin were initially more manageable, the degree of improvement and emotional adjustment was essentially identical at the end of five years to that seen in a group of kids who had received no medication at all.
There are side effects to the ADHD medications. If you’re still undecided about medicating your child, here are the side effects of the most commonly used medications (as listed in the Physician’s Desk Reference):
Common Side Effects
•Addiction
•Nervousness including agitation, anxiety and irritability
•Trouble sleeping (insomnia)
•Decreased appetite
•Headache
•Stomach ache
•Nausea
•Dizziness
•Heart palpitations
Other Serious Side Effects Include
-Slowing of growth (height and weight) in children
-Slowing of growth of body organs (including the brain)
-Seizures, mainly in patients with a history of seizures
-Eyesight changes or blurred vision
How Can I Help My Child Focus Better in School?
If you have an active child that has a challenge keeping focused during school, here are some suggestions that have proven to be of help. Research suggests that a good breakfast helps a child do better in school. For example, a 1998 study published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, showed that children who ate breakfast regularly had higher reading and math scores, lower levels of depression, anxiety, and hyperactivity, better school attendance, improved attention spans, and fewer behavior problems.
For children with ADHD, the menu matters, too. In a 1983 study published in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, researchers at George Washington University tested three breakfast types (high-carbohydrate, high-protein, and no breakfast at all) on 39 children with ADHD and 44 kids without the condition. For the hyperactive children, performance on several tests, including a test for attention, was significantly worse with the high-carbohydrate breakfast, as compared with the scores of the children who ate the high-protein breakfast.
As a former school principal, I can testify that eating a breakfast high in protein resulted in a major improvement in children who previously had problems focusing during class time. I tested this and had great results. Believe me, I know, as a working parent, it’s much easier to let your kids just grab a bowl of cereal. However, giving them anything they like that has protein, such as eggs, bacon, peanut butter, string cheese, etc. will help them immensely. Why risk harmful side effects, especially when the effectiveness of the drugs are suspect? Spending the extra time to give your child a nutritious breakfast can help prepare them mentally and physically for a successful day at school.
“A child in the crowd calls out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all and the cry is taken up by others. “
Saturday, January 8, 2011
SHOULD CHILDREN BE ACTIVE VOLUNTEERS?
Dr. Wendy Ghiora – Posting #78 – January 8, 2010
Have you ever noticed when you are busily working on something at home, like washing the car, or cleaning the windows, many times your child will eagerly come up and ask, “Can I help?”? Perhaps your child has even seen you actively participating in a volunteer capacity such as: cleaning up the local park, bringing cards or gifts to a local senior citizen’s center or dropping off toys during the Toys for Tots Campaign. Children innately like to help.
As a high school teacher, one year I decided to involve my eleventh grade students in a Service Learning Project. This is a project where students volunteer and help their community in some capacity. From personal experience I can tell you, it’s not that easy to find places that will allow unsupervised volunteers under the age of 18. I was lucky to find two local elementary schools that allowed my students to visit their first grade classes and become a “Reading Buddies” to some classes of first graders. The experience was an incredible “win-win” for all.
Many of my students wrote comments in their journals indicating they actually felt they had received more than they had given. As they watched the joy and exuberance displayed by their “buddy”each visit and noted the increased enthusiasm the child had toward reading, they felt pride in the important gift they were able to impart to that child.
Upon recalling this tremendous experience, I was wondering how it would be possible for even younger children to volunteer. After a bit of research, I found the following activities children can do as volunteers:
-Collect canned food and other necessities for people in shelters
-Devise ways to raise money for a charity of their choice (car washes, bake sales, etc.)
-If your child is in a musical group (choir, band, etc.) they can perform at a nursing home
-Drop off baked goods or reading materials at a home or shelter for the needy
-Send letters or greeting cards to our troops overseas
-If your child likes animals, the Humane Society offers programs where children can help care for the animals (with parental supervision)
Here are a few websites that encourage and offer volunteer opportunities for kids and youth:
Volunteerkids.gov, Dosomething.org, Blossom International.org/children.htm, Volunteermatch.com, Artistshelpingchildren.org/wayschildrencanhelp.htm.
The fact is, the significance of children volunteering cannot be easily measured, but its worth is inestimable. When kids volunteer, their self-esteem increases as they build confidence in their ability to assist others. Volunteering also enables children to view themselves as essential to the world as they become aware of the fact they can truly make a difference. Even the youngest children can bring joy to others when they volunteer. Next time a child asks, “Can I help?” realize the full potential of the question. Should children be active volunteers? What do you think?
“To do more for the world than the world does for you - that is success." Henry Ford
Have you ever noticed when you are busily working on something at home, like washing the car, or cleaning the windows, many times your child will eagerly come up and ask, “Can I help?”? Perhaps your child has even seen you actively participating in a volunteer capacity such as: cleaning up the local park, bringing cards or gifts to a local senior citizen’s center or dropping off toys during the Toys for Tots Campaign. Children innately like to help.
As a high school teacher, one year I decided to involve my eleventh grade students in a Service Learning Project. This is a project where students volunteer and help their community in some capacity. From personal experience I can tell you, it’s not that easy to find places that will allow unsupervised volunteers under the age of 18. I was lucky to find two local elementary schools that allowed my students to visit their first grade classes and become a “Reading Buddies” to some classes of first graders. The experience was an incredible “win-win” for all.
Many of my students wrote comments in their journals indicating they actually felt they had received more than they had given. As they watched the joy and exuberance displayed by their “buddy”each visit and noted the increased enthusiasm the child had toward reading, they felt pride in the important gift they were able to impart to that child.
Upon recalling this tremendous experience, I was wondering how it would be possible for even younger children to volunteer. After a bit of research, I found the following activities children can do as volunteers:
-Collect canned food and other necessities for people in shelters
-Devise ways to raise money for a charity of their choice (car washes, bake sales, etc.)
-If your child is in a musical group (choir, band, etc.) they can perform at a nursing home
-Drop off baked goods or reading materials at a home or shelter for the needy
-Send letters or greeting cards to our troops overseas
-If your child likes animals, the Humane Society offers programs where children can help care for the animals (with parental supervision)
Here are a few websites that encourage and offer volunteer opportunities for kids and youth:
Volunteerkids.gov, Dosomething.org, Blossom International.org/children.htm, Volunteermatch.com, Artistshelpingchildren.org/wayschildrencanhelp.htm.
The fact is, the significance of children volunteering cannot be easily measured, but its worth is inestimable. When kids volunteer, their self-esteem increases as they build confidence in their ability to assist others. Volunteering also enables children to view themselves as essential to the world as they become aware of the fact they can truly make a difference. Even the youngest children can bring joy to others when they volunteer. Next time a child asks, “Can I help?” realize the full potential of the question. Should children be active volunteers? What do you think?
“To do more for the world than the world does for you - that is success." Henry Ford
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