How You Can Advocate For Your Child

Dr. Wendy Ghiora

Posting #133

January 29, 2016

As a former school principal and classroom teacher, many of my friends and acquaintances ask for advice when their child hits some sort of a road block at school.  These are highly intelligent, very caring parents, who simply don’t understand how schools work. To professionals in the field, it seems like a piece of cake; but to an outsider it is like me trying to understand nuclear physics.

As a parent, the most important thing to remember is, you are your child’s best education advocate. This will remain so until he’s old enough and informed enough to speak up for himself. You know your child’s strengths and challenges, and you can help identify and push for the assistance your child needs in order to achieve success. Here are some tips to help you advocate for your child at school.

Keep Documents in a File

Make sure to keep copies of all report cards, progress reports, evaluations, educational assessments, IEPs, medical records, homework samples and other documents. Many middle schools and high schools require their teachers to provide an outline of each course at the beginning of the school year. This is an important document to save as well, as it may also contain due dates of major projects, etc. Documents can provide insights into your child’s learning issues and how much progress she’s making. It is important to schedule and attend teacher/parent conferences and also PTSA meetings. Take notes at important meetings and keep copies in a file.

Be Prepared

Read and attend workshops. Know what is expected of your child in each subject area. Build relationships by meeting your child’s teachers, counselor, and principal.  Most teachers give their school email address to their students to allow students to communicate with questions or problems they may be having with assignments.  Email also provides parents with an avenue for direct communication with teachers.

Get to know your child’s teachers as well as the school psychologist, speech therapist and anyone else who can help you help your child. Building relationships with these people will help keep the lines of communication more open. There’s less of a chance of misunderstanding if everyone knows each other. Feel free to ask questions at any time.

Copies of requests you have made to school personnel should include the date you sent them. It might also be helpful to keep a log of whom you spoke to and when.

Know when Open House is taking place.  Be sure to attend any event where your child will be presenting her work, or performing in an activity such as a play or concert.

Take Your Time

It can be a frightening experience when you schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher because there is a problem you wish to resolve. Remember that the teachers and other school staff members involved are there to help, even if you disagree with them. The process will go more smoothly if you listen and keep an open mind. Make a list of the topics you want to cover in important meetings. Take deep breaths. Consider bringing a friend or relative who can take notes for you and help keep you steady. Remember that you’re in control.

Parents should never feel pressured by school staff to make a decision. Ultimately, you’re in the driver’s seat. So while it’s important to be receptive to the school staff’s thoughts, don’t agree to something you think goes against what’s best for your child. Usually, if you make a logical suggestion that will be beneficial for your child, the teacher will agree.

Know the law

Learn about your child’s rights to a free and appropriate public education (FAPE) under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). Your child might have the right to extra time on tests and other accommodations or modifications. Keep informed about your school’s legal obligations to provide your child an evaluation and other services. You can also request that the school provide a parent advocate to help you during important meetings.

Talk to your child

Understanding what your child is experiencing in school is essential to advocating for his needs. For example, the 30 minutes he’s supposed to spend each week with a speech therapist might only be 20 minutes because the therapist keeps showing up late. Asking your child detailed questions will also help him understand what it is he needs. This will help him advocate for himself when he’s older.

Learn "The Talk"

Find out whether the speech therapist and other service providers are “pushing in” (working with your child in the classroom) or “pulling out” (taking your child to a separate location). This is important because your child may say he didn’t go to speech that day, but it could be that the speech teacher pushed into the classroom.

If a major review is supposed to occur for two days before a final exam, and you discover the teacher was absent on those days and the substitute didn’t do the reviews, you have the right to ask the teacher if he or she can re-schedule the exam until the review has been done.  This is another example of why it’s important to know what is going on in your child’s classroom.

Whenever there is a problem with a certain class, always talk to the teacher first.  Remember, there are always two sides to a story.  After your child has told her side of the story; be prepared to listen to what the teacher says; then, and only then can a fair decision be made.

I hope these tips will help make the navigation of your school an easier process.